I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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