We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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