btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
