You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
