Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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