he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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