dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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