Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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