Christians are straight up FREAKS
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
