Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Randomize
