I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize