He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
