she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
