I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
