HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
