Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
