I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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