I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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