I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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