Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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