i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
