THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
