You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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