on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize