I want to have your abortion
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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