Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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