What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize