The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
