If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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