I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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