i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
