NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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