I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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