i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
