Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
