Joe is yelling at the trees again.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
