No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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