I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
