Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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