You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wish i was in the wii world.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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