so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
