I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize