I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Everyone says I win the strip club
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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