I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Hippo gnu deer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with two different species that night
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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