This is not my ceiling
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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