Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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