I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
