Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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