My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize