We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
