Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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