I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Hippo gnu deer
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I have aggressive nipples.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Randomize
