Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize