my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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