He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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