you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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