Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
