Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
