i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
