i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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