I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
