clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
