Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
